My Struggle

Going through a life transformation isn't fun. It is hard, sweaty, emotional, and just plain not fun. Changing your life and your life habits is one of the hardest things I think one tries to do in life. But it can also be one of the most rewarding tasks. I believe that struggling to achieve my health and fitness goal is going to make me a better person. I have learned so much about myself since I have fully committed myself to this and I know that there is so much more to learn. The first thing I have learned is that I have a few voices in my head. (I know what you are thinking - she's a weirdo!) These voices are not telling me to do strange and horrible things. They are the voices that act as your conscious or narrator of your life. I have learned that these voices have different personalities. These are the personalities I have discovered so far:

-The nice, supportive one: This voice is all about supporting me. This is the voice that says "Go you! You can do it! You are so strong! Whoo!" (So this voice is a little too peppy - don't judge me)

-The depressing, negative one: This voice is all about being negative. This is the voice that says "You can't do this. You aren't strong enough! Just give up."

-The cruel, hurtful one: This voice is the worst. This is the voice that says "What are you doing? You don't deserve to be in shape and healthy. You deserve to be exactly the way you are - overweight and awkward. You don't deserve to be happy like all of the other women. Stop trying to pretend like you will ever feel or look like them."

I realize that what these voices say are not all the truth, but this is what I am struggling with. I struggle to ignore the voice that tells me I'm not worth it. I struggle to ignore the voice that says I can't. I struggle to hear the voice that says I am strong enough. I struggle to believe in myself. I struggle to believe that I am worth it. I have been one of those individuals who have yo-yo dieted and said that I am going to start working out and I will achieve my goals this time! That has never happened. I have never achieved that goal. I have always let myself down. I don't keep promises to myself.

This round has changed. I joined the Facebook group No Excuse Moms and have followed Maria Kang's advice. I have also really started to listen to Marie Forleo every time she says that I am worth it and the world needs my specific, special voice. Repeating this phrase has really helped me come to believe it.

My dream to become a part of the Charger Girls squad will not become a reality if I just give up. It will not become a reality if I just listen to the different voices and take them to be truth. I want to be a Charger Girl more than I want to believe these voices. I am going to continue to struggle. I am going to continue to work. I am going to continue to succeed and I hope that you can too.

Please let me know of any struggles you are going through. Feel free to talk to me about anything you may need. You can email me at knwhite16@gmail.com. Don't listen to those voices.